Last Day of Daycare

Lexi And William,

You just finished your last day of daycare and your hormonal mom is a tid bit emotional, very similar to your first day, but for very different reasons.

Growing up, I always had a negative connotation of daycare. Most of my cousins and my friends grew up with stay at home moms and the kids that did go to daycare weren’t always the most well-behaved. I’m sure there were other reasons for this, but I had always made the connection that it was because they went to daycare (I know, not very logical!)

So when the time came for you to both go to daycare I really struggled. Lexi was 2.5 and very shy, timid and reserved and I was so worried about her feeling abandoned and lost and not being able to make friends. William was 4 months and was just sad he wasn’t going to get to bond with Daddy in the same way Lexi did.

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My fears about Lexi were spot on. She experienced all of those things and would scream and cry every morning before leaving. There was bribery and me trying to distract her on the ride there (airplanes in the sky, the tunnel, trains, and lots of listening to twinkle twinkle) to help make the situation better. I set up playdates outside of school so she could become more comfortable with friends in her class. After many talks with the teachers, we figured out she really struggled in the transition moments–going from group time to activity time or to lunch time and pinned it down to her not knowing what to do in those moments and probably feeling lost and confused. As a result, every night we reviewed our day from the beloved daily connect app to look at all the fun she had and review what her schedule looked like each day. We also talked about it every morning on the ride in to help her learn what to expect at each moment throughout the day. In general, I felt like it was a pretty tough transition and took several months.

However, after that transition, some amazing things started to happen. Lexi started to recognize her name and then she could spell it and then she could write it. She started to make friends on her own and discovered her love for art projects. Her confidence grew, she learned how to tell stories, participated in group time, talked to people she didn’t know and learned about complex things for a 4-year-old like symmetry, ecosystems and the world’s wonders. And William, your time spent there was different, but it will impact you in different ways. You know how to stand up for yourself and don’t let other kids push your around. You’re independent and insist on doing everything yourself as that is really what the teachers encourage. You can put your pants/shorts/shoes on and off by yourself, do really really well drinking from cups and using adult silverware and kicking and throwing balls.

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Not only did you both thrive, I loved having you be so close to me throughout the day. Being able to nurse William instead of pump was a Godsend. I loved the lunch dates I had with Lexi. As maddening as it was some days, majority of the time, I loved spending 2 extra hours with you in our car rides. You would tell me about your days, what made you happy and sad, what you learned about or the books you read and would often play games like ‘I spy’ and ‘Is this a truth or a lie?’

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The teachers you had were so amazing and dedicated. They did such a great job of pairing up personalities to have one teacher that is a little more firm and lays the law down with another who is a little more affectionate to play to the different things you need throughout the day.

Overall, I’ve realized that daycare can be an amazing thing and you have both learned and developed in ways that you never would have at home and am so grateful for the wonderful experience we all had.

Onto out next phase which I’m sure will bring equally amazing opportunities

Love,

Mama

Lexi learns to ride a two-wheeler

Dear Lexi,

You are officially a two-wheel bike riding machine! About a month or two ago, we bought a bike for you. Previously, you had a strider bike, but never really got into it. You kind of understood the balance thing, but were essentially too tall for it.

Your new bike came with training wheels. Previously, I didn’t even want you to try it with those because I just new you would become attached to them and never build up the confidence to learn to ride without. However, we did let you ride with them on to get you used to the idea of pedaling and learning how to turn while pedaling.

You got the hang of it pretty quick so we removed the training wheels and you were so scared and never wanted to ride. So we put the wheels back on, but put them up pretty high to force you to learn to balance. This worked as you learned pretty quickly to ride on the main two wheels. However, when you did shift your weight a little to rely on the trainers, it was too much of a shift and you would often tip over. So the wheels came off again and we would hold onto the back of the seat and run next to you while you pedaled. You did awesome going down hills, but would often stop pedaling when on flat ground or up hills and tip.

Fortunately, we had just watched Finding Dory and there was a quote Dory would repeat ‘Just keep swimming, just keep swimming’ so we started saying that ‘Just keep pedaling’ to keep you going. As soon as you figured that out, it was a cake walk for you! You’re still a little shaky on your steering, but you can get yourself going and stop all by yourself!

There was also a little bit of bribery that went into this too ūüôā We promised to take you to the Ice Cream Factory when you learned, AND i let you pick out a new Shopkins, which was really the icing on the cake.

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I also realized you need some tough love to give you the confidence to do new and scarier things like this. Daddy always made much more progress when he worked with you. When I would work with you, there was lots of ‘I can’t’ and excuses and whining and I just can’t put up with any of it or show remorse to you as it just feeds into it. You really need me to be tough with you.

Regardless, so happy and proud of you Lexi!!

Way to go!

Love,

Mama

Lexi’s 1st Dance Recital

Little Love bug,

Congrats! You just completed your first dance recital and I couldn’t be more proud of you! There were two songs you performed: Edelweiss for ballet and Broadway Babies for tap.

You started your first dance classes back in September learning many of the basics of ballet and tap and would also spend time in most classes doing an obstacle course to work on other coordination skills.

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Around halloween time, you had your first performance for us. All of the parents were invited to come into the class and watch you perform three little songs. At Christmas time, you had a little more formal performance and Grandma B and Papa were able to come. Then came January and you started learning your routine for your recital songs.

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It was so fun to watch you practice and learn these routines each week. I loved how they would practice turning off the lights and quietly walking across stage and teaching you how to bow. So sweet! After many many weeks of practice, it was finally time for the big recital. On Friday evening we had dress rehearsal. We got you all glammed up with your fake hair and outfits on. Unfortunately, we were a little late as you were trying to put bows in your brothers hair and although we both told you to stop on two different occasions, you continued and he bit you in the stomach. Given that we were a little late and you were still upset about your owie, I think you were a little flustered and you didn’t do super great on your tap routine, but did much better on the ballet. Regardless, I decided that we needed to spend some time practicing that evening and in the morning before the big show.

I had recorded the routines on my phone so we projected them onto the TV and you went through them a couple times each, but didn’t seem to improve a whole lot. The next morning we tried the same thing and it was just a struggle-fest, so instead of watching, we just played the music and you did SO much better. You remembered the cues in the music and what you were supposed to be doing verses trying to follow someone on the screen. I was so impressed! We even had a mini-practice show for Daddy downstairs. However, you told me that made you a little scared so I was nervous what you would do up on stage.

Eventually, the time came and you and mommy headed out. You LOVED getting to wear makeup–especially lipstick. For whatever reason, you really seem to love the smell of it. We didn’t go overboard on the makeup, just a little eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara and blush. I dropped you off in the changing room, got you situated with your snacks, coloring book and water and headed out to meet all of your fans! Grandma B, Auntie Sheila, Grandma S, Great Grandma S, Auntie Teresa, Courtney and of course Daddy and William all came to watch you. The show was about an hour and a half with an intermission and you performed one song in each half and totally ROCKED it! You knew the routines and danced and didn’t appear to be nervous or scared at all. 17-05-20 Lexi's First Dance Recital Prof pic-2

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Lexi, this whole experience was such a proud moment for me as a mom! I was so impressed and excited to see how you responded to everything. It was amazing to see my shy and timid little girl who was scared of everything/everyone come out her shell and handle a fairly intimidating situation so well. Way to go girlfriend! That evening you were exhausted, but kept telling me how fun it was and asking when you get to do it again. You even cried that evening because you were sad you won’t get to do it for another year! The ONLY downfall for the weekend (aside from the biting) was that it down poured ALL day on Saturday. I was hoping we were going to be able to take some pictures of your all dolled up outside, but had to suffice for some indoor ones with less than ideal lighting.

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Love you Lexi and am so proud of you!!

Love,

Mama

Christmas 2016

Dear Lexi and Bood,

Merry Christmas my sweet little kiddies. Every year Christmas gets a little more fun as you both ‘get it’ a little more each year. It is also fun to start to create traditions that you will both look forward to each year.

Usually, I’m super excited to get the house decorated for Christmas and usually can’t wait until Thanksgiving and this year was no exception. We had our first snow the weekend before Thanksgiving and that prompted the decor to come out of the boxes. I held off on the tree until after Thanksgiving but you both had so much fun ‘helping’ me put up the decorations.

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We also started listening to Christmas music on the radio to and from school, which you both thought was pretty awesome. Favorite songs are Jingle Bells, Rudolph, Frosty and Winter Wonderland as well as Away in a Manager and O Holy Night because those are Grammy and Papa’s favorites.

We read many Christmas books that sparked lots of very good questions like ‘Why does Santa come down the Chimney? Why doesn’t he walk through the front door? How do Reindeer Fly? What is a manger? Why didn’t they go to the hospital? How come we don’t eat cake on Christmas if we’re celebrating Jesus’ birthday? How do elves make the presents? Why are elves little? Very inquisitive little mind you have there Lexi bug!

Our Elf on the Shelf returned this year and we named her Sparkle Minnie. You really got into her and always found her right away in the morning.

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Santa came to daycare and you both reluctantly sat on his lap. Lexi was very insistant that she wasn’t going to but would stand next to him, but I think the teachers and kids at school convinced her otherwise. William didn’t like it, but sat long enough for a picture, but did proceed to talk about it for several weeks after ‘Santa’s lap’. You wrote an email to Santa and asked him for Legos and then asked him for Shopkins when you sat on his lap.

IMG_7699 You also did some cookie baking with Grandma and Auntie Sheila. I was supposed to join you but got snowplowed into the driveway and you were done by the time I got there.

Lexi also had her first Dance reicitel and did 2 ballet songs and 3 tap song! It was so cute to watch her perform!! You look kind of angry here, but I promise, you really did like it!

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As far as actual Christmas celebrations go, we went over to Grammy and Papa’s on Christmas Eve to have some snacks, watch the Vikings/Packers game and open presents. You both looked adorable in your little Christmas outfits and loved opening gifts. After that, we headed over to my Aunt Jean’s house to celebrate with Grammy’s extended family. You had a great time playing with your cousins McKenna and Natalie! We topped the day off with a church service. Considering it was 9:00, and an action packed day, you both did great! Lexi got to hold her own candle and loved singing the Christmas carols. William loved the people watching and singing and being with Papa. Christmas day we have our annual tradition of staying home together as a family all day. You both woke up around 7:30 am. We headed downstairs and saw that Santa had stopped. Lexi wanted to open presents as fast as she could. William wanted to open and play with every present before opening another. Santa brought William some power tools, a workbench and some Legos and brought Lexi two Lego sets and Shopkins. We spent the rest of the day lounging around in pajamas, taking naps and playing with all of our fun new toys. IMG_7744

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Finally, on the 26th, we celebrate with Daddy’s family. Everyone came over to our house and brought some yummy appetizers. We hung out, enjoyed each other’s company and opened presents. You were both spoiled with so many wonderful gifts by so many people that love you.

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It was another wonderful Christmas season.

Love,

Mama

Lexi-isms

My Sweet Bug,

I don’t write to you nearly as often as I would like to and am going to make that a new resolution for myself. I have close to 10 drafts saved that I need to put pictures into and publish.

Three sweet stories that I want to share about what life with you is like at 3 years and 11 months!

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You love to help make dinner and set the table. While you were helping set the table and I was putting food on, you had to go to the bathroom. You stopped, touched daddy on the arm and said ‘Daddy, will you watch my food for me? I’ve got to go potty. Don’t let Bood eat it. When I’m done we’re all going to sit down at the table and eat as a family’ You’re very into family activities–whether it is all riding in the car together, eating, playing outside etc… you want to do everything as a family.

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Also, a few days ago, mama met you and daddy and William at a restaurant for dinner where we were also meeting several other friends. You were very concerned if I was going to meet you there or if you were going to meet me there. I’m astounded that you’re able to pick up on subtleties like that. Maybe that is common for kids your age, but it seems like a pretty small detail that you have picked up on. Anyways, as the night went on, William was getting tired and I was going to leave with him and you were going to stay with Daddy. As I’m getting ready to leave, you gently hold both of my cheeks between each of your hands, pull me close so we are nose to nose and whisper, ‘Thanks for joining us for dinner tonight mama. I’m going to miss you so much. I love you’ I just about melted onto the floor on your sweetness and attention to detail and picking up phrases mommy and daddy use. You are just too sweet my little bug.

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One night, I went to check on you before I headed to bed and you weren’t in your room. I assumed you had crawled into our bed, but you weren’t there. And you weren’t in our bathroom or in my closet or anywhere in our bedroom. You weren’t on the couch in the loft of in your bathroom or even in William’s room. You weren’t in the living room and I began to panic. I thought someone had come into our house while I was here and took you. (I know, another one of your mom’s irrational thoughts) I came rushing down the stairs and started turning lights on, and then stopped as I saw your little candy cane pants sticking out. You had manauvered your way between the legs of the chair and table and used Giraffee as your pillow and were snoring away.

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Love,
Mama

Lexi is 3!!!

My sweet Lexi,

I’m not even sure where to start this letter. So much has happened in the past year and you have grown and changed an incredible amount. I had every intention of writing a 2.5 year letter, but that time also coincided with me going back to work after William was born, daddy starting a new job and you going to daycare for the first time and life just got away from me.

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So let’s start out with how much I absolutely adore being your mom. It is without a doubt my favorite thing I’ve ever done in my 30 years of life. You bring me so much joy and I genuinely look forward to seeing and being with you every moment I can. I love watching you grow, develop personality, and experience challenge and joy. I can honestly say I never look back on past days and wish we were still in a different ‘phase’ because each new phase you graduate to is a favorite to me. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and I need to stop and remind myself what a remarkable life we have and how blessed we are. Life is pretty great!

IMG_4911 Let’s chat a little about your development. At 3 years old, you are a great counter and can count to 20 (with an occasional hung up between 14 and 17) and can easily identify the numbers 1-10. You know almost all of your ABC’s and are starting to learn the sounds that they make. You have been spelling your name for over 4 months now and regularly point out letters on store signs when we drive by. ‘Hey, Mom, there’s an ‘A’, that’s me!) You do a pretty good job of dressing yourself but do still ask for a little bit of help. You like to have a say in what you wear most mornings and like your underwear to match your outfit. You’ve learned the flip trick for putting on jackets/sweaters and insist on doing it every time and refuse to put it on any other way. You’re also learning to zip up your jacket yourself. You need a little help getting it started but can finish yourself. You do a pretty good job of putting your shoes on the right feet and match the curves of the shoes up to your feet. You love to sing songs and know the words to most nursery rhymes. I love listening to you play independently and hearing you sing songs to yourself or your babies. We were at Grandma B’s house and you were playing with the bus and the school house and were singing the Wheels on the Bus as you were playing by yourself. It was just a sweet moment to listen you play. You love to color, play with stickers and do art projects. You regularly ask me, if I want to color with you–in which you proceed to boss me around in telling me where I can color and what color I can use. The conversation usually goes like this:

Lexi: Mama, want to color with me?

Me: Sure

Lexi: Ok, come sit here mama. Ok, what color would you like to color with?

Me: Hmm, how about Blue.

Lexi: Ummmm,,, how about purple. That’s a good idea, isn’t it mama? You like purple.

Me: Ok ( I proceed to start to color)

Lexi: No, not there. You can color here. O-K?

With your coloring, you like to scribble and make dots and circles. You hold the pencil/marker/crayon correctly and are starting to ask about writing letters. You attempt to write you’re name. It isn’t quite decipherable yet, but you are working on the motions of writing letters and are getting better at them! You know all of your colors and shapes. You can tell stories and easily identify emotions. You are incredibly articulate and have a wide vocabulary. When you’re upset or angry, you’re able to identify that emotion and use your words to explain how you’re feeling. ‘Mom, that makes me angry when you take that away from me’ or ‘That startled me, will you give me a hug’ ‘Mama, I’m feeling sad, can you help me stop crying’ or my favorite is when we’re in the car on the way to or from school and you ask ‘Mama, can you make me laugh?’ You regularly tell us how much you love us. You’ll come and snuggle in next to us and say ‘I love you mama’ completely unprompted. ¬†You also love to tell me how much you love your brother. ‘I love Buddy mama’ or ‘We love our brother, don’t we mama?’ Since you’ve started school, you’ve became much more confident in some of your physical abilities. You’ve always been very capable, just timid. But now, you love to jump off curbs and some of the benches at school without me holding your hands. You can open doors and get yourself inside and out as well as unlock and lock doors, which is slightly terrifying. You can open the car door, climb into your car seat and have buckled yourself in on occasion. You love to dance and have some sassy little moves, you love to play catch, run outside, SWING, go down slides and LOVE LOVE LOVE the hippity hop at school!! You play on this everyday and when we ask you about it, your face lights up with excitement. You’ve made some good friends at school. You and Emma are best buds and you also really like to play with Jude, Estella, Mason and Elena. Girffee is still number one in your book. Whenever you are sad or get an owie, you ask to hug Giraffee. You love to talk to him and make him dance and snuggle with him. However, in the past 6 months or so, you’ve stopped carrying him around the house and into every room you go into and you’ll leave him in bed or in your locker at school. You do love him to have his own blanket and want him tucked in bed with you. IMG_5537

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Bedtime can be a hit or miss event. You definitely prefer mama to put you to bed and if Daddy puts you to bed, you need mama to come in after and ‘really put you to bed’. You love to read a book in your pink chair and then another in bed, and then look at your day from Daily Connect. You insist on brushing your teeth yourself. Once it is actually time for bed, you come up with every excuse to prolong saying goodnight. ‘I need water, I don’t feel good, I need a footrest, I’m hot, I’m cold, I need one more hug, I forgot to tell you…, can you sing me a song, etc…. The past couple nights I’ve been putting you to bed, I’ll be walking out the door and you ask, can you sing twinkle twinkle to me and rub my back. I’m not sure what it is about it, but it makes me tear up every time. I think it is such a sweet and gentle request and reminds me that although you sometimes act like you’re 7, you are only three and still need a lot of that gentle love and tenderness that a 3 year-old needs and I need to relax a little and not always be in such a rush. Most nights you’re sleeping by 9 pm and wake up between 6:30 and 7 am. On stay at home days, you nap for about 3 hours. At school, you nap for about 1.5-2 hours. Recently, you’ve even started to put yourself to sleep for nap time. I have yet to experience this phenomenon, but Daddy says it has happened several times.

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Personality wise, it is so fun to watch you develop who you are and even look back at last year or further and see how those characteristics were fluid then, but now are more defined. Overall, you are full of sweetness and innocence. You’re actions are so pure and honest and full of kindness. You’re oblivious to society and judgement and act and behave from the pureness of your heart without influences from others. And this just deepens my love for you and I hope you never loose this innocence. It is such a rare thing to see and I pray that you can always be this true to yourself. This is not a strength of mine and try to learn to behave more like this each day. ¬†I even find myself trying to influence you in the types of clothes you wear to be more ‘put together’ with little jean jackets and cardigans or cute boots and you just don’t like them and I need to accept that and follow that advice for myself too. You are also very shy and timid. You don’t like a lot of attention on you and are a little more introverted. Just yesterday at your birthday party, we sat down to open presents and you kept saying, I’ll just stand behind you mama. You didn’t want to open the present with everyone watching you. I remember this being the same case at your first birthday party when everyone sang happy birthday to you. You were terrified as everyone was staring at you waiting for you to dig into your cake. That fear overwhelmed you and made you not want to dig into your cake at all. With that said, once you’ve warmed up to new people and a new environment you do just fine. When I drop you off at school in the morning, you rarely get sad and instead excitedly run into your classroom, find your friends and wave good-bye. However, going back to your shyness, you don’t like to look at people when you talk to them. We work on finding other’s eyes and looking at them when we speak. It is a hard thing for you to do. Again, I need to remind myself that this is just who you are. I want you to feel confident and be a leader, but need to accept that you can have those skills, but they don’t need to appear in the way that they do for me.

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With all that sweetness, you do have a little sass in you. You are testing your boundaries and trying to gain independence. Most things are ‘I do it’ and if we’re running late or you’re taking an extremely long time, I’ll step in and help out. Half of the time, you’re satisfied with this, the other half results in an epic melt down. You’ll often extend your arm out at me and put your hand up like a stop sign and say ‘Don’t touch me’ and yell ‘leave me alone’. You will also repeat phrases I’ve said like ‘I’ve asked you 3 times and I’m not going to ask you again, or ‘Did you hear my words?’. We often talk about being a good listener.

You also have what I’m sure is a very normal relationship for a 3-year-old and a 9-month old sibling. ¬†You love to make him laugh and the two of you will have giggle fits over nothing. Overall, you really do love the little tyke and I often find you randomly hugging him, which is almost always too hard and irritates William. But you really despise him getting in your stuff or in ¬†your way or taking mine or Daddy’s attention away from you. I’ll secretly be watching you and you will just push him over or lay on top of him and smother him. You’ll pull his hair or kick him if he has pulled himself up on the table and is too close to you. You usually have one or two time outs each day as a result of your misbehavior. Those time outs are hit or miss on our behalf. Sometimes you’ll get very upset that you’re going to a timeout and will start hitting and shoving me while I’m taking you there and other times you’re just like ‘whatever’ I don’t care that you’re sending me there (time out is the bathroom). Regardless, when we sit down and talk about why you went to a timeout you always know how you misbehaved.

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IMG_5112 You’re also somewhat of a lollygagger. Nothing ever feels fast with you. You’re constantly chatting about something or getting distracted by something else. You love to put stuff in bags (ziplocks are you favorite) but also shopping bags and insist on grabbing anything in sight to bring with you to school each morning. Random papers, toys, cars, books, stuffed animals, PJs etc…) It is kind of funny to watch this each morning as you scramble to get your stuff. I’ll yell, come on Lexi, we have to go, and you’ll respond ‘I’m coming, I’ll be right there!’ 3 going on 16! You have since grown out of this, but around 2.5 you were very terrified of Bees, thunder, an old man (from it’s raining its pouring nursery rhyme) and every time we put you to bed, you would ask us to repeat, ‘Mama, say ‘no old man, no thunder, no bees’ and we probably had to say it 3-4 times. Not sure where this exactly came from but, I believe, you watched Winnie the Pooh and the bees were chasing him which frightened you and Thunder just startles you and you didn’t like the picture of the old man with a bug bump on his head in a nursery rhyme book. Random random random!

Favorites:

Books: Search and find and princess books Food: Any treat! Especially Circus Peanuts. You’ll often ask, can we go to ‘Benards’ and get some Circus Peanuts? You and Daddy love to go to Taco Bell together. You also really like cereal and greek yogurt, doughnuts and superman ice cream!

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Song: All nursery rhymes and Honey I’m good by Andy Grammer. (you’ll say, ‘Mom, can we listen to na, na, honey I’m good?’ Movies/TV shows: Dumbo, Despicable Me, Frozen, Curious George, Mickey Mouse, Little Mermaid, Thomas the Train. As of late, you’re super into watching YouTube videos of nursery rhymes or someone opening plastic Easter Eggs.

Activities/toys: Swinging, chalk, kicking a ball outside, playing princess castle or dollhouse, legos with daddy, coloring, stickers, Tag with William, boating, the cabin, sing

Sleep: Go to bed around 8:30-9:00ish and wake up around 6:30-7:00ish. On school days you nap for 1.5-2 hours and on stay home days you nap for about 3.

Clothes: Mostly size 4T. Pants are a little big in the waist on you but 3Ts are too short. 4T for shirts, but I’m even feeling like those are kind of snug and short on you. ¬†Size 9 shoe (but you’ve been wearing the same size since last March, so maybe you’ll had just finished a growth spurt and will stable out a little?

Notes: You’re starting to grow out of your peanut allergy. We went to the allergist and had some blood work down and you passed that, but didn’t pass your skin test. Essentially, your body isn’t producing the things in the blood to make you allergic to peanuts anymore, but those things are still in your skin. Hopefully, we’ll go do another test in a year or so and you’ll pass the skin test and we can go on to do a food test! Stats: Weight: height: I’ve you’ve made it this far, high-five to not getting bored in learning about all things you at age 3! There is so much more that I could say and stories that could be shared, as it is impossible to truly capture Lexi at age 3 or express how much I love you. You are the light of mine and Daddy’s world. We love the way you make us smile, laugh and boil our blood. You are sweet, sassy and everything that a 3-year-old should be and we can’t wait to see how much you grow and learn in the next year.

Love, Mama

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Thoughts on parenting two; 6 Months in

To my two sweet peas,

Daddy and I are six months into the parenting two small children gig and life is a roller-coaster. Overall, life is great and we are so blessed to have both of you.

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//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsLexi, you’re determination for independence is in full swing. You insist on doing everything yourself and for the most part do a pretty good job of it, it may slow us down a little, which is challenging in the game against time everyday (more on that later) but I’m amazed at how capable you are of things. As part of that independence, I’ve noticed your ‘need’ for me is less. I can easily go upstairs or outside for more than ‘a moment’ and know you’ll be just fine on your own. Just this morning, I was showering and you came into the bathroom for a second, but didn’t insist that you actually be in there next to me like you would have six months ago. In fact, I asked you and you ¬†politely said , “No thank you.” Mostly, this gets me excited as it is a great sign you’re growing and thriving, but it is also a great reminder to soak in the moments where you still do want me or my help as there will be fewer and fewer in the near future. IMG_2857//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsWilliam, you have really turned a corner in the past week or so. Now that you can sit up, roll over and sleep through the night you just seem much more content with life. You aren’t constantly squirming in our arms when we hold you and are observant smiling little dude. You smile with your entire face and grace everyone you see with that sweet little grin.

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We love you two to pieces and wouldn’t change anything but boy can days be challenging. I have never felt so disorganized in my life. I feel like I spend all weekend cleaning and organizing from the disheveledness of the week and preparing for the next, hoping it can go a little smoother, but no matter what I do, come Monday it feels like pancakes are flying off the fans. Everyday I feel like I’m racing time. I get up at 5:15 to get myself ready before you two munchkins get up so we can be out the door around 7, but are usually getting out closer to 7:30. By the time we sit in traffic and I drop each of you off at your classrooms, park my car and walk up to my desk, it is 8:45. I have an hour at my desk before I go down and nurse William for the first time, which is usually followed by another session over lunch and then again at 4. It is hard to get work done and be focused with these distractions not to mention the meetings I have between each nursing session. After the last nursing session, I head up to my desk for another 30 minutes or so and then head back down to pick you two up for the day to be on the road by 5:30. We sit in traffic for about an hour getting home at 6:30, rush to make dinner and eat between 7 and 7:30. By then, William is starving and exhausted from not sleeping all day at daycare and goes to bed for the night. We also head upstairs with Lexi to begin your bed routine (potty, brush teeth, read two books, look at our day and you usually throw a tantrum or two into the mix) and hopefully walk out of your room by 8:00, but 8:30-9:00 is more realistic. I then shower and will either open my computer and work for a little to make up the time I missed, maybe watch a little TV, clean up the dinner dishes and be in bed by 10:30. Very often, dishes get neglected for days and I’m only motivated enough to do them because all of my pumping parts are dirty and need to be washed for the next morning. I have this constant battle with time and feel I fail at meeting every ‘deadline’ all day long. I’ve tried to be more relaxed about it, and some days I am, but that usually just means I get to work late, we eat really poor meals or Lexi gets way overtired and makes that evening even more challenging. Sigh. As challenging as the days seem, I try and remind myself that:

  1. ¬†Life is pretty darn good when the things I’m worried about are getting to work and putting Lexi to bed at a decent time.
  2. Things change so quickly over three to six months and this morning in the shower was a perfect example of that.

In the grand scheme of things, the challenges we’re facing today will quickly be replaced by new challenges, it is just figuring how to get through tomorrow.

For as many sweet moments we have like the photo on the left, we have just as many as the right. Take it easy on us, OK?

Love,

Mommy